Have you been trying to write your own story?
Do you have a certain time frame of things you want done and plans on how you are going to accomplish them?
Have you been asking God for things and not getting answers so you have decided to take matters into your own hands?
Trust me, I get it.... I've been there, many times.
In today's episode, we will be going over how God writes our story. God is in complete control and we need to stop trying to write our own story because it only leads to hardships. It only leads to destruction and deception, and it just delays our purpose and what God has called us to do.
First, I want to say a quick prayer: "LORD, I pray that you lift up every person reading this right now. LORD, I pray that you open up our eyes, our ears, our hearts and our minds to you LORD. I pray that you put it in our hearts to just let go. To let go of all of our doubts, our worries, our plans of the future and things that we want, and to just give it all to you LORD. We know that You are mighty, You are all powerful, You are wonderful, You are in complete control, and we can trust You. You're so loving, gracious, and merciful, and I'm just so grateful for you LORD. Thank you for all that you do and all that you will continue to do. I love You with every ounce of my being. In Jesus' name, Amen."
So today I wanted to go over the importance of letting go of control, putting the pen down, and giving it to Jesus. You may be going through it right now and there may be things going on in your life that you never expected to happen. There may be things that God has been calling you to do that are not what you want to do and you've just been trying to take the reins on your own. You've been trying to control your own life and it's been leading to chaos. It's been leading to things going wrong. It's been leading to disappointment. Then you end up back at square one and then you end up back at a crossroads of "Am I gonna do what God's calling me to do or what I know in my heart God wants me to do? Or am I gonna try to control this on my own?" Or maybe there is something that God has called you to do, you know strongly that he wants you to do it, but he is telling you to wait. It's not time yet and you're just trying to rush it because you have this timeline of everything that you think should be done in a certain period and you don't think that God is doing it quick enough.
Let's get into some scripture:
"A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9
So we can plan our way in our hearts, but the Lord is the one that determines our steps. He is the one who is in complete control. Even though we may have these plans in our hearts, we may have these desires and these things that we want to get done, and they could be desires from the Lord, but we cannot try and just do things on our own whenever we get these desires We can't be like "Okay, thank you, LORD. You've put that desire in my heart. I've got it from here." The LORD determines our steps. We have to seek Him every moment through every decision that we make in life.
" For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11
So God has plans for us, and I'm sure you've probably heard that verse a million times. God does plan to prosper us. He doesn't plan to harm us, but that doesn't mean that we're not going to face hardships. Jesus says, "In this world you will have troubles but take heart because I have overcome the world." So don't take that verse as God has only plans to prosper us and so we're never going to face hardships, we're never going to have harm done to us, that's not what that means. We can see in this verse that God does have plans for us and in order for His plans to come to fruition and not to be delayed based on our actions, we have to make sure we're being obedient and we're keeping in step with the Spirit.
God's plans are always going to happen. He is almighty. He's the most powerful, the most High, and there is nothing that we can do to make what God wants to happen, not happen. But we can delay our promise. Just like the Israelites, whenever they were going into the promised land, it was delayed because of their disobedience. We have to make sure that we are being obedient, we're letting go of control. We're saying "Here LORD. I have these plans, I have these goals. I know what I want, but I only want to do it if it's your will LORD, and not mine. Please take the reins and show me what you want me to do." We have to listen to the Holy Spirit, keep in step with the Spirit, and do what God tells us to do every step of the way.
Now for a little story time...
I signed a lease on an apartment today and this is the first big girl decision that I've made. It's my very first apartment by myself ever. This decision has been very scary. I've spent a lot of nights crying, getting on my knees, and just praying to the LORD that if it's His will it'll be done. I know that I desire my own place so much and the apartment that I looked at was exactly what I would want. If I was to design my first apartment and I had free will to design it however I wanted to, that's exactly what it would look like.
So we looked at a couple of apartments at first. The first one we looked at, I really liked, but I didn't like where it was facing. It was facing the parking lot. So then we ended up going to one upstairs that was facing like the woods and it was pretty outside and I liked it, but there were a lot of things that kind of needed work. It was a new build, but you could just tell they were kind of sloppy where there was spackle on the wall and different things like that.
So I knew that I liked the location, I liked the apartments, but I knew those weren't the ones. So I ended up going the next day getting some more keys and looking at a couple more. In between this time I had been praying, "LORD please, I want my desires to match your desires. If this is not what you have for me, if this is not the place for me, please let it be very clear to me because I don't want to make any decisions that you don't want for my life." So when we went to the other apartments the next day, the first one I walked into was downstairs, but it was facing the woods where there's like a little creek and you can see the sunset out there. It's kind of more secluded than the other areas. I loved that apartment.
In each apartment I went to, I got on my knees and I prayed before I left those apartments. That one, as soon as I got on my knees, I just kept feeling in my spirit "This is the one, this is the one." I was kind of set in my flesh that I really wanted an upstairs apartment because of the balcony. So then I was like, "Okay, I hear that this is the one." Like I could feel in my Spirit so heavy, but I was thinking "I'm going to go upstairs and just see how I feel." So I go to the upstairs apartment and when I walked up there, there were scratches in the floor where people had moved in the fridge and stuff and they made scratch marks. It was not it. I went in there and I was like, "Yeah this is not the apartment for me. This is not it."
So after that night, I still was praying and praying about it because even though I felt so heavy in my Spirit, "This is the one" I wanted to make sure. I have made so many decisions in my life that were just what I wanted and that I gave into my flesh and my own desires and followed what other people were telling me to do or what I wanted to do and not what the Lord wanted me to do. It has caused so many heartbreaks, so much deception, chaos, destruction, and depression, and it's just caused all bad things in my life.
So I have got to the point where I'm just like, "LORD, whatever it is that you want me to do, that's what I want to do. I know you have a purpose for me. You have a plan for my life. I do not want to mess that up at all." I know I can't mess up my purpose, but I can delay the things that the Lord wants me to do or He can send other people to do my job if I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. So I've gotten to the point where I'm just like, "LORD whatever it is, I don't care what it is. If it is not from you, if this is not what you want, then please take it away. Take that desire away. I just want you, LORD."
So I was praying about it. Well, the day I saw the apartment I was asking them about putting in the application. With these apartments, at the time you put in the application, you also have to put in the deposit so you're pretty much locked in. They said that I had to put in the deposit the same day I put in the application. So a few days later I had been praying and I just kind of felt a peace about it. I had been asking God for clarity and after I got on my knees that day when I was in that apartment and I felt '"This is the one," I never wavered from that. I felt like it was redundant to keep praying about it. I would start to pray about it and I would think, "This is redundant because the Lord has already answered my prayers. He's already told me this is the one." So I ended up putting in the deposit and the application on February the 10th. Then they called me the next day, said I got approved and I just signed my lease today (February 12th).
I have a mix of emotions because I am so blessed, grateful, and thankful for the LORD, for everything that he's done in my life. I'm also a little afraid because this is my first real big girl purchase. I'm going to have to be responsible for paying my own rent every single month for at least a year. It's a little scary, but it needs to happen. Where I was just last year and where I am now, it's all by the grace of God. He's just so faithful and whenever you walk in step, you are listening to the LORD every day, and you're denying your flesh every day, He is going to make things happen in our life. The plans that He has for you, you will start to see that they are unfolding and things that you could have never imagined just a year from now will end up happening. Things in your life that He wants to happen will end up happening if you just let complete control go.
I have got to the point over these past eight months of just really like it's just been me and God. I literally cannot live my life without Him. I have come to the realization that I need him. I need him like the air that I breathe. He is the air that I breathe. He breathed life into us and I have to have him every step, every moment of every day. Coming to that realization and just asking Him before I make any decision big or small has led me to sign a lease on my first apartment and no telling what else God has in store for me. I'm ready for it, as much as I can be, and I know that the Lord will give me strength.
Let's read a few other Bible verses:
"Many plans are in a person’s heart, but the Lord’s decree will prevail." -Proverbs 19:21
So even though you have all these plans in your heart and you want to do all of these things and trust me, I know there was certain things that I wanted to get done by a certain age. I definitely expected to already be married, have kids, a house, and everything by 31 years old. The plans that we have in our hearts don't really matter if they're not in alignment with God's will for our lives. His decrees are going to prevail. What He wants to happen is going to happen. So that's why it's so important for us to say, "LORD, please match my desires to yours. Please help me to desire what you desire and not what I want." He will match your desires to His and He will show you exactly what it is that he wants you to do. You will start to desire things that you never would've thought. Things that you did desire that were fleshly, that are not in alignment with what God has for you, those desires will go away if you keep in step with the Spirit and you're constantly asking the Lord to move you to do the will of God the Father and to match your desires with what He desires for your life.
"All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord. All the families of the nations will bow down before you, for kingship belongs to the Lord; he rules the nations." -Psalm 22:27-28
Jesus is our king, our ruler, and He's in complete control. So there's no point in us trying to control things on our own. We are only delaying our promise, we're blocking our own blessings and we're just making stuff that's very unnecessary happen. All these heartaches and different things, I'm not saying everything that is bad is because of your own decisions, but if you really just take a moment and think of your life and what's going on right now, is it a result of your actions? Is it a result of the situation that happened because of things that you did in your life, or decisions that you made? Or was it just actual tragedies that happened that we can't explain? If it's something that is a direct result of decisions that you've made in your life, it's time to let go of what you have planned for your life and your desires and what your flesh wants and to just give it all to God. Just give every bit of it to God. He's in complete control. He loves you. He has good plans for you. In order for those plans to be fulfilled and not be delayed anymore, you have to be obedient to what God is telling you and you have to keep in step with the Spirit.
"I have sought you with all my heart; don’t let me wander from your commands." -Psalm 119:10
we need to have this Psalm as our prayer every day. "LORD, I have sought you with all of my heart. I'm seeking you with all of my heart. Lord, please don't let me wander from your commands." Have that heart posture of wanting to do all that God has commanded us to do. Wanting to listen to him through every decision that you make. Asking Him first what is it that he wants you to do. Any decision, big or small and just asking if it's His will. If it's not His will, then for Him to take it away, take away that desire. Take away the things in your life that He does not have planned for you because he has good plans for you. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you. "He works all things together for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28.
We have to make sure that we are just letting go. Put that pen down. Quit trying to write your own story. Quit trying to just do things on your own and take control on your own. I know there are things that you want to do. The Lord knows your desires. He knows your heart. He knows everything about you. He knows the things that you want to do in your life. If those things are in alignment with what His will is for your life, those things will happen in His perfect timing. If it's not in alignment with His will, you have to have that heart posture to just let it go and align what your desires are to the Lord's desires.
I'm telling you guys, whenever you get to that point where you're just like, "LORD, whatever you want for my life, that's exactly what I want." It changes everything. It has changed everything for me. I know it'll change everything for you. We're not going to do everything perfectly. We're humans. We're sinners. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to give into our flesh. Sometimes we're going to have where our flesh is constantly fighting the Spirit. Our Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. That's why it's so important for us to ask the Holy Spirit to consume us. Ask the Holy Spirit to move us to do the will of God the Father. Keep in step with the Spirit, stay in your Bible, stay in prayer, in constant communication with the Lord, and just ask Him through everything. If you want to do something in your life, ask the Lord first what He thinks about it, and then be still and listen.
So I hope this episode helped you to realize that it's okay to put the pen down and give it to Jesus because He's in control anyway. What He has planned for our lives is way greater than what we could ever have planned for our own. He is going to do things that you could not even think or imagine. He's in complete control. We can trust him. He's good, He's gracious, He's loving, He's merciful, and He is our good, good father. So I hope this helped you to just realize that you can let go, and give it all to God. Stop trying to write your own story and just let the Lord take the reins because He's already in control and you trying to fight Him is not doing any good.
I love you guys so much.
Never forget to choose faith over fear.
-Lorena Camille (Faith Fuels My Fire)
If you do want to contribute in any way, if you want to donate $5, $10, $500, whatever you can do to help me go on this mission trip, there are specific things that you will want to do whenever you click on that link to make sure that they know that you're supporting me as the missionary. So I'm going to tell you exactly what to do. If you want to click on that link and donate whatever you can. So you're going to go on the website: https://globalventures.tv/give and then you want to make sure you click on where it says "support a missionary." Once you do that, you'll put in however much you want to donate. Then in the "memo" portion of it, make sure that you type in my name so they know that it is for me, my name is Lorena Espy. Whatever you can do would be so greatly appreciated. I will be praying for you guys. I love you guys so much and if you can just send love and prayers and that's all you can do, that's amazing.
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Scripture taken from The Christian Standard Bible. Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible®, and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers, all rights reserved.
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